As I thought, there's nothing he can do since I've had such bad reactions to all the new wonder drugs. Methotrexate is it...which never helped, but harmed...mentally I still withdraw from even thinking of going back on that, the complete and utter sickness I felt ALL the time...14 years of that and liver damage was enough! Yet, he disrespected my natural healing regime, which, not only is ALL I can do and the hope I cling to, BUT, has helped more than anything over this 18 yr nightmare..without nearly killing me! I've had less pain and joint involvement over the last 3 years since abandoning modern rheumatology and the 14 years of hell that went with it, feeling I would die, bedridden, tears each day, heart doctors, lung doctors...I could go on... from SIDE EFFECTS, not the disease! Proof enough my body was not tolerating any of it and I was being poisoned!
The reason I've had this huge flare recently was because I forgot to renew my herb and spice cocktail while I was sick with a bad virus! Anyway, I gave him a piece of my mind about not upsetting me and we got on fine after that LOL. He even taught me a few things. But isn't it about quality of life, not scientific proof! These last 3 years have been like waking up again after living a nightmare.. like one of those movies where you wake up and you're in your mid thirties and the last thing you remember is being a teenager... I usually feel depressed after these appointments, he saw me as a great teaching subject for his student and as usual, I left him scratching his head over how complicated I am lol. After writing this though I feel quite calm and collected. I'm going to have xrays for keeping note of joint progress...and this hippy freak is staying natural baby ;-)
I am back on all my natural remedies again, and adding coconut oil to the concoction, plus I'm ditching all processed food, chicken (already four legged free) and dairy, gluten... I do yoga, meditate, am conscious of unhealthy and healthy energy forces and the control I have over that, I practice mindfulness thinking, I walk at least three times a week (when I could not leave the house... 5 years ago the rare occasion I left was in a chair) I'm not wonder woman, I never compare myself to anyone, worse or better, I just do what I can do and try to live in the moment. Chronic illness is not managed with drugs alone, we are so much more than that... body, mind and spirit...
Isn't it a shame we can't work in harmony to help these debilitating diseases, why does the modern world disregard what our ancestors did for centuries so easily... :-(
